If you would have asked a few months ago I would have told you marriage was something I saw in the nearest future. I looked up at the perfect relationships around me and believed in the lasting power of love and respect. But things change, thoughts change, attitude toward life changes when something in the values you were passed on, breaks. Nothing is infinite especially the love and respect one promises the other in the holy vowels of matrimony. It is all a big fake joke, which we all seem to want to believe and cherish as the “perfect” pursuit of happiness. When there is no perfection and the only happiness that truly counts is the one inside yourself, which you should find before you get hitched anyhow.
Yes, there is magic to the union of a man and a woman in a sacred promise in front of others and, for some, in front of G-d, but who says it has to be official, and it can’t just be a personal promise within the knowledge of the “fallibility of the human kind?” So that, when it won’t work for the duration of a life-time, like we expect it to be, there is no big regret and no big discontent. But just the realization that “everything flows and everything changes” and so did the love they once profess to one another. Now, my berating attitude toward the meaning of marriage does not in any ways affect my belief in love.
I am just more of a realist than I have ever been before for many reasons, which are not important to share. It is just my understanding, after having photographed a fair share of weddings, especially religious ones, that we can bless the union of two people, we can celebrate them, we can strongly believe in it to work, but we must also acknowledge that life changes and people change, so there is no forever. There is no perfect. There is no fairy-tale endings, although it is nice to believe so. If we could influence a less fake attitude toward a life of empty promises, which comes as a result of believing in the impossible, we could diminish the overall suffering and augment the overall gains.
Let’s think about it not as romantics (which I am known to be), but as math teachers and pysics PhDs…it can work, but again, so meticulously so, we probably won’t like it a bit and we will continue searching for the impossible, the dangerous, the unachievable love of our life because suffering is indeed an emotion we like to feel as much, or maybe even more, than love itself.