This is the life, man…
I got this song stuck in mind. I have had it there for about the length of my stay in Israel and there is so much truth behind this line. Or at least so much truth behind having had my mind stuck in this lyrics for the past four months.
This is the life for real.
Running at sunset up the olive valley below the Israeli museum, stopping in the middle of the run and hearing a bunch of Rebbis singing, crossing path with an old friend on the way just to say goodbye one more time. Then coming home to a meal and a bunch of roommates always there for me. And then later jumping on a plane with a whole lot of photos and a whole lot of dreams in the suitecase with destination home, mother land, grand-mother’s house to celebrate the Jewish new year because it’s that time when family gets together and prayers are made to justify our reluctant behaviors and our mistakes.
This year it’s by far the best year I have had yet. It’s starting out mervelously and it will continue even better because I have discovered something very important about myself: Living without a plan and letting life flow is the best decision I have made so far and it does not have to be an excuse for lack of commitment, but just a simpler way to live life without expectations.
And this is why when people ask me and now what? I say who knows…I will wait and see. When will I go back to NYC? No Idea. I am living. I am flying and I am floating afloat. I have no limitations, I have no commitment except the one to myself to make my first book and have my very first Solo Exhibit, but for the rest where I live is secondary as far as I am living and not sleeping on the side of the passenger side. I have full control on my life and I want to drive full-speed. Nothing else will satisfy me. So, watch out world, I am leaving Israel now and where this will lead me who knows.
On a sad note *(yes there’s got to be some sort of melancholy note to a blog post on four months spent in Israel), I will miss the Jerusalem air, I will miss the quietness in Nachlaot on a Friday night, I will miss, terribly miss the Saturday afternoon run in a deserted Yerushalaim. I will miss the sleepless nights watching the stars on the Haifa beach, I will miss the full moon in the in the middle of the Desert. I will miss the deep, passionate, spiritual chats with my friends and my accountancies. I will miss even the thina *(I think if I do not leave this country I will turn into a jar of thini). And today I am not sure when and how I will come back. I do not know what and where this road of mine will lead me. But I am so happy to say I was here and I lived Israel. I did everything I could have possibly done. I danced the dances, I sang the song, I walked the path. I am a changed soul, a grown woman, a more compassionate and calmer human being. I love this life of mine even if it has no clear sense of direction and no clear final goal or destination, maybe it is all so exciting just for this small little reason. So much more to discover, so much more to see…destination unknown and nothing else to report.