I love my job. I love my job especially when it gets tough. I love my job even when I hate my job because I have got zero inspiration and very little time on my hands.
This past fourth months here in Israel have shaped me as a person just as much as they have shaped me as a photographer.
By shooting daily for my own self, being my own boss every hour of the day, I have learned a thing of two about self-discipline and self-motivation. Sometimes it’s hard to have both at the same time and when the rush of two comes together it mostly does not last long so one has to hurry and breath it all in.
Making a book is no joke. Making a book and preparing to photograph for a solo exhibit is the most exciting thing I have ever done except swimming the 100m breast-stroke in the State Championship when I was 17. Creating art that will have my name attached to it for a life-time to come makes me have goose bombs especially because my biggest dream in life has always been to have a book to hold in my hand who had my family name on it.
But making a book is no joke.
Sel-motivation isn’t either and criticism is always advised.
So, this is why I have started sending my photo portfolio to a series of photo editors I respect and value. I have had a great team of friends and mentors behind me all along my project these past two years, but it is time to shake some of the edge and get some “nasty” criticism…and so I did. Yesterday I got an email, one of those emails you read all in one go and do not stop for a second because you hope it’s going to get better toward the end. Well, my email did not, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to hear some “serious constructive criticism” the one that put you in a little, dark space all by yourself and makes you even want to cry a little, but then it just blows you back up on your feet and make you step much further than your nose because your nose is all the way too deep into it, you can barely see past it.
This is why I went to Beit El today. This is why I went to a poor settlement in the West Bank behind Ramallah to just walk around and taste the water there. I was not looking for anything specifically. I was not intentionally looking for anything and then I ran into some school girls learning Torah in the settlement Ulpana.
I could not resist. And, even though I got the whole school principal and teacher board to scrutinize me for good, I made it a point to take some photos.
Too bad the girls got too excited about it and started leaving the classrooms and so the teachers ended-up kicking me out.