She is free. She walks like a free woman. Her name is Tamar. In ancient Jewish history she used to be a Queen. And to me she resembles just that nowadays. She dances in the sunset light like her mother wolves and she lets me take photos. This is her one hour of free time for herself to connect with the universe. She is a Breslov Orthodox woman and all around her I feel at peace. We met at a traffic light in Meah Shearim two weeks ago. I am dressed-up like a haredi, but yet I stopped because of her eyes, they are gazing inside mine with their green light. She stopped because I said the word “Bat Melech.” We spoke behind a car window for the firs time, then we stay in touch and when she got back from her last trip to Uman to visit her Rabbi’s grave, we connected again “like very old souls knowing there was something very powerful that had brought us together.”

Last night I was sitting on her amok in Beit Meir *(20 minutes drive from Jerusalem) hearing her son Daniel doing math homework in the back room and her little bastard dog Ula biting her bone away, while she showing me her herbal garden with such pride I couldn’t, but listen to her when she is telling me about her Luisa and Sage etc…then our chatters become pure philosophical talk. We walk up the mountain above her house, “where the villagers usually go up to “‘be wild’ on their own,'” this is where she unleashes her wild nature improvising a ‘wolf dance’ at sunset.” She tells me about her job and her turning religious seven years ago after two marriages gone awry and an 11 year old child who needed to find direction in life. It’s incredible how I have found this woman and how she invited me into her home, gave me chicken soup and salad and open herself and her life to me to explain why her choice is life “was for the best.”
“As long as you are in this world, the soul goes through the drama of your life, the whole journey is to re-write your story until you remember who you are,” said Tamar while stirring the soup. “You may not know it now, but your journey in life is to look for your Bat Melech, when you do, you connect to a bigger story.”

I wake up to a rooster singing on the top of his lungs. It’s 6:30 am and the students of the yeshiva are already getting going, while Daniel and his friends are still in bed sleeping, their straw-made school does not open until 8am….thankfully says he.
I am given a black Arab coffee with a nice big smile and then she drove me off throw hill sides of vines and olive trees where I hitch hike my way back to Jerusalem…I do not think I have done this since the time of college in Boulder when I really wanted to go climb somewhere far and did not have a car. A 25-year old girl, Talia, picks me up and drives me back to Jerusalem. I step off the car and go grocery shopping at the shuk, the central open market at 8:40am, it’s only me and a bunch more of orthodox women buying fruits and vegetables for the week.

Best Monday morning ever, I think while licking my fingers off the crumbs of my buttery croissant. I close my eyes one more time and imagine myself still sitting on Tamar’s amok overseeing the hillside around Jerusalem and hearing the wind brushing through the tall pine trees and everything becomes still. I am at peace too. I see a fazen feather on the group, I pick it up, put it in my bag, and go on with my day. Life is fuller now that I have met this incredible new Bat Melech. So much more to share with this wild woman, maybe in this life and maybe even in the next life one to come.

One thought on “Tamar

  1. Jill says:

    Loved this story! I definitely believe people come into our lives for reasons and if we are open to it, we will find them……….

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