When she was 16 she would go to church like all of her other family. She was Christian and prayed neailing down facing Christ’s cross, but she never felt comfortable this way.
“I would come home crying asking for G-d forgiveness because I could not be myself and pray that way. I wanted to be alone with G-d and not have to confess and have priests,” said Judith Zila Kaufman few minutes into our conversation on her way to the shuk. “At 20 I converted to Judaism because it was the right way for me. I did a lot of research and my great-grandmother was indeed Jewish. I wanted to be the same.”
Then in the last 10 years she became orthodox and follower of the Rabbi Nachman from the Breslov Jews from Uman, Ukraine.
“Rabbi Nachman thaughts us we should never be angry and even if one day we are angry, we should not fall down, keep on going,” said Judith. She came to Israel from Frankfort Switzerland after she turned 20, she married a Yemenite and had two children with him. But her husband kept himself the same, “I grew stronger in my belief in G-d.”
At 40 years old because so many great things were happening for her after her trip to Ulman, she became fully orthodox.
Unfortunately her husband did not follow her lead.
“He left me because all he could do is go sleep in the woods somewhere and not work. I was the only one taking care of the family. I am happier now. I live a simple life. A life full of simcha and I happy even by myself,”she says looking up at the blue shy on her way to go buy some food for the lady she takes care of all day.
She does seem very serene. Her blue eyes are shining when she speaks of Rebbe Nachman, she says he is her guide, the one guide she had been waiting for so long to show her the path toward only yetzer hatov, the good impulses. A guide to fight depression and a guide to get her to be accepted where she belonged. Meah Shearim among the Breslov community is where she found her nest. Alone, yet, but with Hashem she is fulfilled, she concluded.