confession of a jew born from a non-jew

I feel a saddle tickle under my belly bottom and then one behind my ear.
Water bubbles coming out and floating to the surface.
Then again I feel stillness. I hear silence. The sweet noise of the infinite.
My eyes closed. My mind empty. My body free.
I am re-born into my truest self.
I am back to the one I was the day I came out of my mother’s womb.
I sink my head again and let the water hold me tight and still.
I am out of breath. I must come up, but I am so comfortable.
So, I sit there for a while longer…in the sacred waters.
I feel different. Yes I do. I am different. I am no new me. I am just more aware of what me means and who me is.

I was not born a Jew. I was born from a mother who was not born a Jew. So I had no Jewish blood running in my veins. I was converted at birth by being sunken in a mikvah for three times by a Rabbi. I have always felt a Jew though so this never affected me until last night when I chose to bathe in the mikvah once more.

This time it was my choice to be re-born as a Jew. It was my time to make that decision for myself. No parents, grandparents, uncle, ants or Rabbi’s involved. It was me. I did it all. And loved every moment of it.

I am a Jew. Jewish is my identity and in a few hours I will be entering Yom Kippur as a truer version of my Jewish self.
I am happy.

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